unwavering faith! :)

Serah — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:55:15 +0000

Serah — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 08:04:22 +0000

i want to book a studio and go recording!
where is all my time going :(

i need a new ipod.
i currently have so many thousands of new songs but i cant dump them in cos my pathetic 4gb nano was already filled long ago.
so annoying.
i want ipod video 60 gb!!
now i have to keep deleting older songs if i want to put in any new ones and its just so saddening to have to delete anything.
i deleted my ENTIRE Bach Mass in B minor because it was SO huge and t aking up so much space i swear i wanted to cry when i was deleting it =(

i want to watch Paranoid Park and The Other Boleyn Girl!! XD
and and Away From Her and Kite Runner and Reservation Road.
i need time time time.

and i still want latin and spanish classes.

and my grade8 theory.

darn school and As and everything.
there is never any time to do anything i actually WANT to do.

dont say i’m out of touch
with this rampant chaos- your reality.
i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge:
the nightmare.
i built my own world to escape.

today made it clearer than ever:

Serah — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 09:18:22 +0000

do not fit in.
have never fit in.
and do not care whether or not i fit in.

only one more year to go babyyy (:
wait, ten months to be more exact.
and then i’m out of here and i never ever need come back.

superficiality, pretence, politics…
really i’m sick of this place.

which makes my weekends all the more precious.
there the love is overwhelmingly abundant.
there i belong.

hello you(:
i’m still very glad you’re in my life.

Serah — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 13:07:09 +0000

200 more words.
sighs and stares blankly at half completed econs assignment which is basically nothing but a whole string of gibberish.

i have no idea why my right upper arm near the shoulder just hurts so fucking much.
plus it feels swollen when compared to my left.
darn. and its been like this the whole day.
hmm the left only hurts when i stretch.
but the right is like this, perpetual throbbing ache even when i’m not even moving a muscle.
i really hope it gets better soon =(

i need to shop! haha.

i listened to that song i saw on your playlist.
its scary isnt it?
i dont want that to happen to us.

-anberlin: a day late.

主啊　我要回到祢身旁

Serah — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:16:25 +0000

now i come right before You with my hands lifted up
and my heart humbly bowed at Your work on the cross
as You hung there and died You were paying the price for my life
Lord i’m sorry for being suicidal.

You are my strength when i am weak
You are the treasure that i seek
You are my all in all.
seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord to give up i’d be a fool
when i fall down You pick me up
when i am dry You fill my cup.

You will always be my strength and guide, all i will ever ever need.
Father forgive my foolishness.

祢恩典够我用 (:

the bridge is crossed;

Serah — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:35:45 +0000

so stand and watch it burn

beyond the point of no return.

Serah — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 13:17:47 +0000

oh no.
its definitely not easy to try and persuade someone from taking his own life especially when you yourself are suicidal.

this is how far we’ve gone.
and this time, there is no turning back.

return to me salvation.

Serah — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:20:02 +0000

interesting msn conversation.
chemistry reactivity series, syc, “string a melody to your bio text book and treat it as music to be memorized”, “Choir’s not exactly an examinable subject that can be used in uni entry ya noe?’, “nevermind i took SAT alr.and my score’s enough to take me to some american uni!”, “Then how you join SYC liddat!?”
yes. fascinating discussions between me, sara and mr albert tay.

found out sara’s giving school a miss tmr too. HAHA PARTNERS IN CRIME INDEED!

my nose is so annoying. cant sleep at night cos its just so clogged up.

Serah — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:23:10 +0000

i’m sorry.
there’s only this much i can do.
nothing else, nothing more.

please dont expect anything else from me.
i’ll only fall short of all these expectations.

and its become impossible to go on.

there’s only so much a person can take.

so the question is,
does it make you a terrible person if you just reach your limit?

Serah — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 09:44:32 +0000

i probably shouldnt be feeling this way.
but somehow its come to a point where it just doesnt matter anymore.

sorry to the people whose texts i ignore or take very longg to reply.
i’m really not in the mood.

what’s wrong with you?

Serah — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 11:46:18 +0000

i am in such a bad mood now that even the text from him did little to cheer me up.

no, wait, in the first place, i’m in a bad mood because of him, isnt it?

well.
maybe not.

i hate school.

nevermind.
just TEN MORE MONTHS TO GO, BABYYYY.
then i’ll be out of here for GOOD.
(read: I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT.)

Serah — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:50:28 +0000

fuck everything.

Serah — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 06:28:07 +0000

i think this monday/long break before pe/go library use com thing could become a bad habit.
debbie’s currently staring at whatever i write -.-
HAHA. and sighing at every single thing i type.
oh well.

i think i need to actually get down to doing work soon, but =(
rah.
i have done little of lit homework compared to the hard working dilligent AHers.
poor me.
and i still have not handed up gp essay outlines.

i think i might give up on you.
somehow.
maybe i already have given up.
so is that good or bad?

but then again.

ah. town tomorrow.
like, finally.
i desperately need retail therapy.
maybe it’ll help to improve this perpetual terrible mood i’ve been in for these past two weeks.
thing is, i dont even quite know why i’m in such a bad mood these days.

maybe, it all comes down to you once again.

this is highly pathetic.

just like having to stay back in school and wait TWO AND A HALF HOURS for freaking PE to start is pathetic.

how much more can i lose?

“i wrote this song for somebody special;

Serah — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 13:00:30 +0000

its called Someday”
It’s the biggest storm in years they say.
Couldn’t take a plane so I hopped a train
I’d like to stay, in a stormy winters day
so I’ll come back to you someday

As the states rolled by
its all so clear
I’m everywhere but never right here
It’s always the same
constant change.
But I’ll come back to you someday

So close so far
so long the world
spin me away

I drive all night just to see your face
The way you touch the way you taste
Even if only for a day
I’ll come back to you someday

I speak the truth its all i know
As your tears fall to the snow
and we both know
That tonight I can’t stay
but I’ll come back to you someday

Serah — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 10:24:53 +0000

so completely exhausted and sick of this game, but yet it was heaven.

embrace the paradox

Serah — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 02:07:35 +0000

i know what you did last ~~summer~~ night.

look what you’ve done
you’ve made a fool of everyone

i won’t come back
my world has fallen down.
leave the past in the past
gonna find the future
and misery loves company
well, so long
you’re gonna miss me when i’m gone.

Serah — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 06:16:18 +0000

today was a highly amusing day.

tomorrow your blood will run cold.

Serah — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:41:28 +0000

herland is a boringly dry book.

…

slacked the whole of last night talking to people on msn.
haha finally spoke to joash after so long (:

i dont want to do history tutorial =(
darn it.

aching aching aching from mass pe yesterday.
well not exactly mass since it was only our class but still.

i should take the baby sister on a people tour soon ahaha.

crescent cca day tomorrow.
to go or not to go. hmm.

thank you, you made my day (:

oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLY =)

your little piece of heaven turns to dark.

Serah — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:55:21 +0000

sometime you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide
they’re swept away
and nothing is what it seems.

how strange.
since i am so highly machiavellian, why is it that i can get everything i want except that one thing i want most?

i don’t believe this.

Machiavellianism

Serah — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 05:28:24 +0000

- the term some social and personality psychologists use to describe a person’s tendency to deceive and manipulate others for personal gain.

took a personality test on this and the result was that i’m a High Mach. 75%.
HMM.

take the test here.

by the way, we did this during lit lesson today.
interesting or interesting.